I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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