this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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