I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
