Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
