does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
