what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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