its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
