wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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