i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
