Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
