Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
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