I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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