I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
