so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
