It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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