so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
