if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
