Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
