Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
babies were throwing up all over the place
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Randomize
