He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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