My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
