Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Oh god it's open bar.
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