What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
