it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Rumble strips road head = magical
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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