Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
