It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
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