If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
