Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Randomize
