Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
