He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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