who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
