She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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