you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Randomize
