she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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