Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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