my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
