i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
