the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
