No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
