i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
i need some magic done to my vagina
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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