She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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