Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
