Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
