I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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