at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Redeem this text for a blowjob
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
