I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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