She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Is Oprah even human
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
