We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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