Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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