walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
