If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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