But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I just cut my nipple shaving
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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