how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
