i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I booty called her while she was in labor.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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