drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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