He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
