I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
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