haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
