After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Someone came in the potted fern
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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