More tranny stories later!
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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