My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
