"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
